San Diego-Local artist and former opoid enthusiast Greg “g-bizz” Bizzup, was kidnapped in Mexico after friend and tour guide, Mario left Bizup alone in a Sinaloan opium field to find a bathroom.
“Greg said he wanted to find an morphine connect. So, I thought I’d be a good friend and my take him straight to the fuckin source!” Mario yelled before he proceeded to consume his body weight in Tecate and Mezcal.
Other friends on the trip also stated they were weary of using Mario as a tour guide
“It just seemed like Mario was drinking to much Mezcal.” Douche barrista and pothead Alex Leamon said to our reporter also noting he was glad Solan was safe and sound.
“I think I’ll open up my own virtual reality farm in Sinaloa.” Mario announced at a press conference with Joe Rogan and Elon Musk, two notable investors in his project.
The American consult said it had no reports of Mr. Bizup’s whereabouts.