Police have received complaints from Arrowhead Elementary school and local residents of a young (16-18) man speeding excessively. The suspect drives a 2018 BMW E36 and has the license plate number “8008135”. Local authorities have described the suspect as tall, dark haired, and has no hoes to the point of extreme loneliness that he would hit on a white redhead who is a part of the Mountain Ridge theatre club. If you happen to see this man on the road, please bust open that WAP (formerly known as Wet Ass Pussy) for a real one and report him to local authorities.