“We Build the Death Star” Comes to Tucson

As the Senate debated constructing the ultimate planet-killing weapon, Kylo Ren, former Jedi apprentice to Luke Skywalker, met with HOA members at the Dagobah Country Club, at a fundraiser for his We Build The Death Star project.

Organizers of the We Build the Death Star campaign were short on specifics, but said they could build a death star cheaper, faster and better than the imperial government by using crowdfunding to procure individual weapon systems.

β€œAll I want is to see this wall built,” said Norf Bork, an 82-year-old owner of a nudist resort on Hoth, who was recognized by the speakers for donating 10,000 parsecs to the project.

The organizers claim to have the Emporer’s blessing, but there have been no public proclamations to that effect.